Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Through Their Eyes

  The other night, after my hubby got home from work and dinner was cooked and eaten, I took a 'break'.  I few minutes out to myself, to the dollar store to pick up a few odds and ends.  I had not been out of the house in a few days, so it was a nice breather.  Sometimes, only a moment can mean so much to a Mommy, remember that sometime.
   As I walked through the stores I looked around at people.  I'm not a perfect Mama.  Sometimes I get stressed and overwhelmed.  Although I'm very obvious to the fact that I have been SO blessed to be home with my children, that doesn't always mean that I appreciate every moment.  Sometimes it seems too much.  Sometimes I feel like a failure, and sometimes..  well, sometimes I feel like I would rather be doing something else.
  I looked around at the people, coming and going.  A woman nicely dressed, most likely works in an office setting.  Chatting happily on her phone.  The beautiful young girl who prances around as if she is weightless and nothing on earth holds her down.  Sometimes when I look around I see so many things..  the person I used to be...  the person I think sometimes I would like to be.  Its lonely sometimes as a stay-at-home Mom, and its easy to feel like what you do seems insignificant in a world that is so busy.  Those people seem so important...  and sometimes, I feel like I'm not.
   As I walked through the store with a heavy burden, I reached in my pocket, and pulled out a gummy.  LOL.  You know, those little fruit snacks full of sugar that kiddos love?  A purple Nemo gummy.  I smiled.

   Even though it was small, it was so big to me.  It was a reminder.  In this world that's so busy, all these people who are so busy in their own worlds, I hold a huge significance.  I am Mommy.  I am Mommy to these beautiful babies who God placed under my care.  To the world, I may be nothing, but to those babies, I am the world.  I'm covered in Mommy..  it consumes every ounce of me to the point where there's a lone purple gummy in my coat pocket.  But that's okay.  It's better than okay, its absolutely wonderful.  This life I lead is so beautiful.  Some can leave a legacy of a good work ethic, a wall of best sellers or picture frames full of accomplishments...  but my legacy will live on in the hearts of four people who are under my constant care and supervision.
   This life may seem small, but in truth, its SO big.  It's worth my every ounce of care and conviction.  It's worth throwing it all to the wind in order to live this life to its fullest.  It's worth working hard to be present and attentive.  It's worth the messes, the occasional loneliness, and the constant battle against my heart and my flesh.  It's so worth it.
   Some days I see myself through the eyes of the world, and I feel insignificant.  Yet some days God finds it in his grace to allow me to see myself through their eyes...  and in that I'm grounded, happy, and filled in a way that I could never imagine being.  I love this life, even when it seems as small as a gummy.