Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Choosing Mary

 It was a snowy Friday morning.  We home school Monday through Thursday, so Friday and Saturdays are our mornings off and the kiddos are allowed to watch television..  my childhood is filled with great memories of Saturday morning cartoons, and although they aren't want they used to be (Although Garfield and Friends is on Netflix now!) I still remember those lazy mornings wonderfully...  and with the snow outside it was perfect to keep on their PJs and hang out on the couch.
   As I typed our netflix sign on info into the wii, I noticed Hudson emerge from the kitchen with two of my kitchen sponges.  I just bought them a couple of days ago.  They weren't that great, because they were soft instead of scratchy.  They came in a package of 10 with all sorts of different colors.  I can totally understand why the kids would enjoy something so bright and colorful.  He was holding one in each hand and flapping delightfully.  He circled around me, and the Martha kicked in.

   For those who aren't familiar with the story, in the gospel of Luke, verses 38-42, Jesus comes to the homes of two sisters.  Their names are Mary and Martha.  The sisters opened their home to Jesus.  Martha immediately began setting up.  She was working hard to make sure all provisions were met to prepare their home for their guests.  In the meantime, Mary found herself sitting at the feet of Jesus, just listening to him.  Martha saw her sister and gets frustrated.  In her frustration, she asks, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her to help me."  I'm certain Martha expected Jesus to repremand her sister for not helping.  To her surprise, Jesus answers, "Martha, Martha.  You are anxious and troubled about many things.  But one thing is necessary.  Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."
   When the Martha kicked in, I knew that I may need those sponges for dishes, and they could not be used to clean dishes if they were in the floor.  I snapped at Hudson, "Put those back in the kitchen."
  It's amazing how our words, if not used carefully, can sting.  Hudson's demeanor went from being happy and cheerful to being hurt.  His lip pouted, and tears immediately streamed from his face.  As he handed me the two sponges, he turned to go in his room with the saddest thing I've heard in awhile...
  "But Mom!  You took my wings!"
   Ohhhh my.
  I'm SO guilty of being Martha.  I feel like it has to be done, and done now.  I feel that my home can't function in chaos, and it shouldn't...  but sometimes I go overboard with wanting perfection, and expecting perfection.
   I cut short devotions to do laundry.
   I yell when juice is spilled on the floor.
   I get angry when the bed is not made to my standards...
   But worst of all, today, I failed to see that two sponges, ten of which cost $1.00, were the perfect pair of wings.
   I'm so thankful for the Holy Spirit that lives inside of me beckons me to be more than I am.  That I can be shaped by the amazing God who lives inside of me.  That he can speak to my heart, speak past my flesh, and tell me how to live a more calm, peaceful life.  One that realizes that the hearts of my children are more important than a spotless home, or two cheap sponges.  I'm not that person.  I'm not a Mary.  I am a Martha..  but thanks to the Holy spirit, sometimes I choose to be Mary.  I choose God.  I choose peace.  I choose the greater portion.
   With a heavy heart, I sank beside my little boy on the bed and held him.  His tears dried up, and he hugged me back.  I handed him two sponges, told him I loved his wings.  He smiled at me, and told me they were red and blue.  I ran my fingers across them and told him they were so soft, and that Mommy was sorry, that Mommies sometimes say things they don't mean to say, and that I should not have taken his wings away.  He forgave me, instantly..  and 'flew' away.
   Most of the time I'm a Martha..  but occasionally, I find a way to be a Mary in this Martha world.